One day while I was taking pictures of flowers in my neighborhood, I saw a beautiful lady standing naked in the garden. She looked quite embarrassed and was trying to cover herself up with a flimsy little towel, but to no avail. I apologized profusely for being in her garden and was about to leave when she asked for my name. I told her mine and asked for hers. She said her name was Venus. She was a Roman goddess. Her husband’s name was Mars, the god of war, and they had a little boy named Cupid.
On my way home, I thought Venus was a little cuckoo. A Roman goddess, my foot! Next she would be telling me that her son Cupid can fly and somewhat expert in bow and arrow. Yeah right!
Our Toronto neighborhood turtles were basking in the sun today. These four turtles are brothers and for teenagers, they are rather friendly and chatty. They told me that their names were Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, and Donatello. They were raised by a Japanese rat named Sprinter and, secretly, they were crime fighting ninjas.
What I find odd is that these turtles love pizza. Shouldn’t turtles be eating insects?
Oh yeah, they kept saying “Cowabunga!” Weird, isn’t it?
While I was admiring the window displays of this small antique store in my Toronto neighborhood, Marilyn caught my eye. Marilyn who, you asked? Marilyn Monroe, who else? Never mind the horrible hairdo and the gaudy outfit and trinkets, her signature red lips was a dead giveaway. Her eyes were closed so she didn’t see me take a quick shot. Just the two of us. Marilyn and me.
Where was I? I was the shadow in the background. Not the blue one… that was a car! I was the one holding the camera.
Wouldn’t you just hate it when you woke up one morning and your brain was missing? Well, it happened to this planter. He kept asking the passersby, including me, what happened to his brain. Nobody knew. I said, “At least, there are pretty blue flowers growing on your head.” He almost had a heart attack. Good thing he didn’t have a heart, so he was all right.
Poor planter. He looked really perplexed. You would be too if that happened to you.
The squirrel prayed, “Dear Lord, I hate to bother you, but this is very important. I know You know who took a bite off my pine cone. This pine cone is very special to me, dear Lord. It was a gift to me from my beloved mama before she passed on to squirrel heaven. So please, dear Lord, let me know who the culprit was. Was it my brother Kyle or my brother John?”
The Lord replied, “I’m sorry but I cannot tell you. You and your brothers are equally precious to Me. But I can assure you, it was not your brother Kyle.”
Out of the hundreds, even thousands, of places to hung out in the neighborhood, this cat chose to hung out with this old wooden pony. Perhaps the cat thought the pony was lonely, being all alone day in day out on that fire escape so he was keeping it company. Or, perhaps the cat just liked the view from up there, beside the pony. Wouldn’t you like to know? I did. So, I asked.
At first, the cat was bewildered. He was probably even a little annoyed why this crazy old Chinese woman was talking to him. Of course, I’m not Chinese, but that’s beside the point. But I just stood there and waited. So, finally the cat said, “Me and my pony are waiting for our Uber ride. Is that a problem?”
It happened at dusk. The mysterious light beam appeared. It was like Captain Kirk just said “Beam me up, Scotty” and he went shooting up towards the Starship Enterprise. It was a slow ascent (The Enterprise was an old spacecraft after all) so I was able to take a shot. You don’t believe me, do you?
What if I told you that I just witnessed an alien abduction. Those stories are true, you know.
Ok, it was a jet plane shooting straight up in the sky? Yeah, that was it… I think.